


The Sound of Your Heart

by orphan_account



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Lamen Week, Lamen Week 2020, M/M, Soulmate AU, i don’t know how to use tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:09:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24913627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Lamen Week - Day 5 : Soulmates AUThe first person you ever hear is your soulmate
Relationships: Damen/Laurent (Captive Prince)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 51
Collections: Lamen Week 2020





	The Sound of Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Lamen Week 2020 - Day 5 : Soulmate AU
> 
> I blame the fact that I wrote this in first person and with different POVs entirely on the dozens of Carry On fanfics I’ve read recently

**Damen**

I’m almost certain I don’t have a soulmate.

Let me explain, there are two things everyone knows about soulmates ; they live close to you, and they’re almost the same age as you. It makes them easy to find, because living without your soulmate is something you don’t want to be doing for long. 

Most people find their soulmate the year of their eighteenth birthday, if their soulmate is older or the same age as them. Even in the most extreme cases, most people find their soulmate by the time they’re twenty-five.

I’m turning thirty today, and I still can’t hear a sound. 

Which led me to believe I don’t have a soulmate. No one wants to say it, but everyone knows it deep down ; if I had one, I would have found them already, especially considering I have  _ tried  _ finding them. I’ve been to each and every bar in Marlas and in the region, I’ve used every dating apps for people looking for their soulmate, but nothing happened. 

Nikandros tells me not to lose hope, people finding their soulmate late in their life is not unheard of, though extremely rare. But what Nikandros fails to mention is that those who found their soulmates past thirty are people who actively try  _ not  _ to find them. 

So really, I was not in the mood to celebrate my birthday ; it reminds me that I’m getting old but am  _ still _ alone. That I will probably always be. That I’ll never hear music or the sound of people’s voice or children laughing. I’ll never have someone waiting for me at home, someone to fall asleep with and wake up to, someone to watch walk down the aisle.

But Nikandros convinced me to do something. “It’s not every day you turn thirty, Damen,” he had said.

Yes,  _ said _ . They all  _ talk _ to me, because they know I can read their lips, which isn’t a problem most of the time. I prefer that actually. When they sign, it reminds me that I’m the only one they have to use sign language when communicating with, but it’s still more practical. Some of them barely move their lips when they speak, or they turn their head, which makes them hard to follow. 

That’s exactly what Pallas is doing right now. I tried focusing on what he was saying but I gave up halfway through his rant. He’s not talking about something important anyway. Something work related, the usual small talk you’d expect during a dinner with friends.

Suddenly, they all turn to the door, except Nikandros, and some of them frown.

I suppose someone knocked or rang the bell. Not that I’d know. Because I can’t hear. Because I don’t have a soulmate.

**Laurent**

My soulmate is in this room, and he doesn’t know it. 

That’s entirely my fault, and honestly, I’m not even sure I want him to find out. 

I’m a fucking liar. I’m so damn in love with him, of course I want him to know we’re soulmates. I’m just too terrified to tell him. 

Auguste says I’m cruel not to let him know I’m his soulmate. “ _ What do you risk if you tell him, anyway? Being loved? Wow, that really seems terrible _ ,” he had said in the car, when I told him I wanted to keep this a secret a little longer. 

But Auguste doesn’t understand. He’s a hopeless romantic, he was looking for his soulmate the day he turned eighteen and the day he found her was the most beautiful day of his life. It’s not the same for me. I’m fine on my own.

Maybe  _ he _ isn’t though, I think, as I watch Damen kissing Auguste on both cheeks. 

**Damen**

“ _ I didn’t know you were coming _ ,” I sign to Auguste.

“I wasn’t sure I could come, so I never confirmed. You know how it is, with Roxanne and the kids.”

I don’t, really. Because I don’t have a soulmate. But I nod anyway. “ _ Well, I’m glad you could make it. You brought your brother _ .”

“I did,” Auguste smiles, as if it was something  _ good _ that he brought him. “Come say hello, Laurent, don’t be rude.”

As if it bothered him to be rude. Laurent hates my guts, for a reason I don’t understand. We met at Auguste’s wedding, seven years ago. He had been sort of friendly at first, in a very Laurent way, but he had quickly become cold towards me. He’d turn around whenever I approached him, the most efficient way to tell someone who communicates with their hands and not their voice that you don’t want them to bother you, so I had stopped trying. He was just my friend’s little brother, after all, I didn’t have to be friends with him.

Though I must admit, if he hadn’t been so hostile, I would have liked spending some alone time with him. 

As Nikandros would say, he looks like he came out of my wettest dream. 

Laurent comes say -sign- hello, as requested by his brother. I’m surprised he isn’t talking, but at the same time I’m not. He’s old enough to have found his soulmate, but stone-cold Laurent having a soulmate just seems strange.

He doesn’t even bother looking at me long enough to see me answer ; he’s already walking towards the wall to lean against it. Mr de Vere is probably too good to sit on one of my couches. Auguste, on the contrary, is slouched on an armchair, a beer in his hand. “Laurent,” he says, looking at his brother. “Be nice.” There’s something in Auguste’s eyes that I can’t quite read, but it looks like a warning.

**Laurent**

I don’t want to be  _ nice _ . I don’t even want to be here.

Well, at least I’ve convinced myself that I don’t want to be here, but the truth is, I do. I can’t even control that I do ; it’s a soulmate thing. Once you’ve found them, you’re drawn to them all the time. You never want to be apart.

Which is why, as the masochist I am, I moved to the other side of the planet when I found out Damen was my soulmate. 

Definitely not one of my smartest decisions. It hurt like hell to know my soulmate was so far away. It hurts even more to be in the same room as him.

Because he’s here. I can  _ see _ him. I can  _ touch _ him. He’s here, and all my heart wants is for me to throw myself at him and kiss him, while my brain is telling me to get the fuck out of this house. 

It’s too dangerous to be close to Damen. It makes me want to listen to my heart, which has never been a good idea.

**Damen**

I try to focus my attention on my friends and not think about Laurent, which shouldn’t be so complicated since he is just standing in the corner of the room doing nothing. He hasn’t even taken a drink or a slice of pizza. He must be bored to death. I don’t understand why he came if he planned to stay on his own. And once again, he doesn’t even  _ like _ me so why did he come to my damn birthday. 

Well, I guess I failed at not thinking about Laurent. 

I feel a hand on my shoulder, pushing me a little bit, and I jump. I turn at Jokaste, who’s the one who pushed me. “ _ What? _ ”

“Did you even pay attention to anything we just said?”

I blush. “ _ No, sorry. I was thinking _ .”

“I highly doubt that. It’s not something you do,” Nikandros says with a teasing smile.

“He does think sometimes. He thinks about getting in pretty girls’ and pretty guys’ pants,” Lazar says, speaking slowly to make sure I understand every word he’s saying.

He’s not doing it to be considerate though, he just wants to make sure I know he’s making fun of me. 

“ _ I can’t find love, I can at least have fun. You’re just jealous I get to have a lot of sex with a lot of people while you’re stuck with Pallas. _ ” 

I wink so that Lazar knows I’m teasing. 

“I’m perfectly fine being stuck with Pallas. YOU are jealous that I’ve found my soulmate and you haven’t.”

I know that he’s just teasing too, Lazar wouldn’t actually try to hurt me by reminding me I don’t have a soulmate ; he probably doesn’t even know how much it hurts, my soulmate -or lack of, really- isn’t something my friends ever talk about. Well, except Nikandros but it’s his job as my best friend to deal with my problems. 

Still, my heart clenches at Lazar’s words and it must show on my face because Pallas scowls at Lazar and Jokaste puts her hand on my thigh, gently, like she used to when we were dating. It’s warm and comforting, and I thank her with a smile. 

**Laurent**

I can’t bear the sight of them. I don’t know what is harder to watch ; Damen looking all sad because he thinks he doesn’t have a soulmate or Jokaste touching him, all I know is that it’s unbearable. I want to tell him I’m his soulmate to wash this sad look off his face -though the prospect of being tied to me forever will probably not make him much happier than the prospect of being alone- and so that Jokaste will fucking back off.

Who the fuck does she think she is? She’s not his damn soulmate.  _ I am _ . She has no fucking right comforting him like some perfect girlfriend. 

“ _ It’s okay,” _ she signs. She fucking  _ signs _ . I  _ know  _ she can talk, she’s done it sooner. Why would she fucking sign now. Those who have found their soulmate never go back to signing. They’re too excited to be able to talk to bother signing. I know, I’ve been through that phase myself after Gus’s wedding. 

Damen smiles at her and it makes my heart boil.

He’s looking at her like… like I wish he would look at  _ me _ . She rubs his thigh and suddenly it’s too much.

The words are out before I can stop them.

**Damen**

“Keep your  _ fucking _ hand off him.”

I raise my head to the source of the sound before I can even process the fact that I’m  _ hearing _ sound, my eyes reacting reacting instinctively. They want to be on my soulmate. 

My soulmate. 

Laurent. 

He has a terrified look on his face and his hands are pressed against his mouth. 

How is it possible that he can speak? Before finding your soulmate, you can make sounds, you can sob, laugh. That’s how your soulmate finds you. But you can’t speak before you’ve found them, the same way you can’t hear. 

They give you hearing, so that you can hear their “I love you”s. They give you speech so that you can tell them you love them. 

_ How can Laurent speak already if he’s my soulmate. _

My friends are looking back and forth between Laurent and I, realizing what just happened. Laurent spoke and I  _ heard _ him. 

Auguste is the only one who doesn’t seem surprised. Did he know?

He would have told me if he knew, right?

“Well, that’s a plot twist,” Jokaste says with one of her infuriating smirks. 

“Shut up, Jokaste,” I say  _ -say- _ as I jump on my feet. 

It feel strange to talk, to hear my voice, but at the same time it doesn’t. It’s natural. I don’t even need to think about it, the words just come out as if I’ve talked my whole life. It’s so weird, but I can’t care about that right now. Nor about the way my friends laugh at how ridiculous my first words are. All I can care about is the man my eyes are glued on. 

This beautiful, cold man who purposely avoided me for years, and was rude when he wasn’t avoiding me, is my soulmate.

Was it why he avoided me? Does he not want to be my soulmate? Unrequited soulmates are not unheard of, after all.

But why would he have gotten mad at Jokaste for touching me if he didn’t feel  _ something _ for me?

I feel like I’ve walked for hours when I finally reach him, though I’ve only crossed the room. I grab him by the arm and drag him to the kitchen before he can say something. I’m not sure he could even say something, he still looks shocked. 

I slam the door behind us, and finally let go of Laurent’s arms. He stumbles a little, but quickly gets back on his feet. 

**Laurent**

“Did you know? That you’re my soulmate, did you know?” Damen asks.

His voice is so hot, goddamn.

Focus, Laurent.

I cross my arms on my chest and I look away. It’s hard looking at his beautiful brown eyes full of anger. I so wish he had something else in his eyes when he looked at me. Love, maybe. Or at least desire.

“Answer my question. Did. You. Know.”

“Yes,” I whisper. “I’ve known since Auguste’s wedding.”

“Since  _ Auguste’s wedding _ ? That was seven fucking years ago Laurent for God’s sake!”

I see him coming closer to me and I think he might hit me. I’d let him. I deserve it. But he doesn’t. Instead, he takes my chin between his thumb and index finger to force my head up. I know he wants me to look at him, so I do, even if the look on his face breaks my heart. 

“Why didn’t you tell me! For all these years I looked for my soulmate and I couldn’t fucking find them, I thought I’d never find them, God, I thought I didn’t even have one! I thought I was broken, that I’d be alone forever. And you knew  _ all the damn time _ .”

He sounds angry, but he also sounds sad. So  _ deeply _ sad, and I can’t handle knowing that I’m the reason why he’s sad. 

Soulmates are not supposed to make each other sad.

Soulmates are not supposed to avoid their soulmate either. 

“I’m sorry I… I only thought about myself.”

“Clearly,” he snorts. “It fucked me up so much not to find my soulmate. Why the hell did you do that, Laurent?”

He keeps saying my name and it drives me mad. He pronounces it terribly wrong, but it’s so damn adorable. 

I look away, and this time, he lets me, but I can still feel his burning gaze on me. 

“I was scared,” I admit. 

“Scared? What is there to be scared of? Is the prospect of spending your life with me is that terrifying to you? You know that being soulmates doesn’t mean we  _ have _ to be together, right? It just means we’re  _ meant _ to be but there’s no obligation.”

_ It’s not you,  _ I want to scream.  _ You’re perfect and I’d want nothing more than to spend my life with you.  _

But I don’t. Instead, I say “It’s the prospect of belonging to someone that terrifies me. Don’t say that it’s not what soulmates are about, because it is. You have one soulmate, and they are your soulmate. They’re yours. They belong to you. They can’t be anyone else’s, because no one wants someone who has a soulmate who’s not them, and because it’s literally  _ forbidden _ to marry someone whose soulmate isn’t you. This whole concept of soulmates is ownership, and I don’t want anyone to  _ own _ me.” It’s only part of the truth, but it’s still true. I’ve felt owned for years and it’s not something I ever want to experience again. “I just… when I realized you were my soulmate, I freaked out. Which is why the few times we met after Auguste’s wedding I avoided you or where rude to you. I didn’t want you to come close to me. I didn’t want you to be interested in me. I didn’t want you to  _ hear _ me, because I couldn’t bear the thought of you knowing I was yours. Auguste says it’s cruel, and seeing your reaction today, he’s probably right. I’m sorry for that. I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted to protect myself.”

I can still feel him looking at me. I risk a glance, to see if he still looks so sad and angry. 

He doesn’t, but I can’t read his face and it’s even worse.

“Are you going to say anything?”

“I’m trying to process what you just said. I kind of have a lot going on right now.”

**Damen**

Laurent is my soulmate. Laurent has known he was my soulmate since Auguste’s wedding and he hasn’t told me. 

“You’re not supposed to hide the fact that they’re your soulmate from your soulmate for years, Laurent,” I eventually say, with a heavy sigh. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that. You’re not sorry.”

“It’s true, I’m not sorry that I did it. I’m sorry that it hurt you. I truly didn’t think you’d be that affected. Besides, when I met you, you were dating Jokaste. I… You were happy, I didn’t want to ruin that.”

“You’re my  _ soulmate _ , Laurent. No matter how much I loved Jo, I would have loved you more,” I say, putting my hand on his cheek.

I don’t know why I did that. I think my hand acted before my brain could think it through, just like when my eyes were on him before I could really process it. 

I thought he would push me away, but instead he leaned into my touch. It surprised me more than if he had slapped me. 

“Would you? Have loved me more than you loved Jokaste?” he says as he looks back at me.

His eyes are the palest shade of blue I’ve ever seen, and they’re full of an emotion I can’t quite place. It takes my breath away nonetheless. 

“Maybe not immediately after I found out,” I say honestly. “I was crazy in love with her.” He scrunches his nose in disgust and it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. I want to laugh, but it would clearly be inappropriate right now. “But I’m sure I would have grown to love you much more than I loved her.”

I feel him shudder under my hand. 

**Laurent**

He’s sure he would have loved me. Damen Akielos, the most handsome, kindest, most perfect man I’ve ever men is sure he would have loved me, if he had known I was his soulmate back them. 

I think my heart is going to burst. 

But he did say that he was would have  _ loved _ me. Not that he would  _ love _ me.

“And now?” I ask. “Do you think you could grow to love me  _ now _ ?”

I hate how much my voice shakes. I’m so fucking pathetic.

Why do people value love so much. It fuking sucks to be in love. You’re so vulnerable. So…

“Yes, I think I could,” he smiles. 

His smile is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. It’s so wide, and bright, and  _ genuine _ and…

And I can’t look at his smile anymore because his lips are on mine. 


End file.
